Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Sickly Sweet

Searing touch breaking so many walls.  How.
No, not how.  Why.
I had defenses for a purpose.

Not bitter, not blaming.  It was simply a catalyst

Driving a rift, a great chasm between myself.
A void others can cross, but from which I am barred.

And I will yet let it stay, for perhaps a little while.
There is no harm in this, to harm myself for a time.
Opening up is "proper".  Isn't it?

I shudder, shiver.  Holding it in.  Can't be breaking down here.
Can't be breaking down ever.
And yet I walk the line, tracing just how deep it goes.

And this should hold no joy for me
but I'm overcome with a perverse excitement.
In mockery of my own pain.

Whose team am I even on?  
It doesn't matter
I give myself to the bloodflow.

It tastes sickly sweet.

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